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  • Pauline Buckley

Imagine if: There is no Should

Should is one of my favourite words. When you hear yourself, or someone else, saying ‘should’, it’s usually a belief that someone else told you that isn’t true and it is always an invitation to get curious. It can also be about fear of something that you don’t want to happen.

Things like, I ‘should’ go to the gym, but I’m too busy. So… question yourself, is it true that I should go to the gym? Do I really enjoy going to the gym or have I always believed that’s the only option for me to get fit? What would I really enjoy doing to look after my body? I’d love to do yoga or kickboxing instead, but there aren’t any classes near me. Is that really true - has it been a while since I looked around or have I ever looked?


When we believe things that are not true, we limit ourselves. Get curious, connect to your innate wisdom and live a life of unlimited possibilities.


And so the curiosity continues until you find the answer that gets to the heart of the ‘should’. It may well be that you’ve never liked going to the gym (and maybe criticised yourself for not going), so when you get curious about the ‘should’ and start to look around, there are lots of other things to experience that are more connected to who you truly are. Or maybe there’s an even deeper truth for you to uncover.


It could also be that the ‘should’ helps to perpetuate the vicious cycle of self criticism and not good enough. When you become aware of that and the thinking that is not true, you start to change the way you experience life.


When we believe things that are not true, we limit ourselves. Get curious, connect to your innate wisdom and live a life of unlimited possibilities.

Rather than good or bad, right and wrong, knowing what does and doesn’t work for you, brings change and ease to your experience of life.


If you tell someone else that they ‘should’ be doing something, it can be highlighting a fear or a message for yourself that you don’t want to hear or look at. For example, if you tell someone that they ‘should’ be eating more healthily… is that what you are really telling yourself?


Listen today for the ‘should’ (or shouldn’t) in your life and get curious about if it’s really true or what is the message for you, from you.


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